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Selfies: A rant about the modern day Narcissus

Selfies: A rant about the modern day Narcissus Selfies selfies selfies. Where do I start? Oh, I know! Let us cast our ancestral minds back to ancient Greece, when people wore robes, had curly hair and ate lying down. There was a chap called Narcissus, and boy oh boy was he an egocentric little shite. He was so in love with himself, he became enamored by his own reflection in a pool of water, completely oblivious to the little forest nymph who had fallen in love with him. So while she’s there ...

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A true story: An Uncommon Encounter with the Devil Himself (written in ye olde language, innit)

An Uncommon Encounter with the Devil Himself (written in ye olde language, innit) Once upon a time, long, long ago, two young ladies prepared themselves for a walk to Ye Olde Land of Kingston. Deep within the darkest corner of Surbiton they bustled around young Elizabeth’s flat in a frenzy of excitement and anticipation, donning their coats, boots and scarfs that would warm them during their long 18.5 minute journey along the most treacherous stretches of water in the country – The River Th...

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Think before you speak

Think before you speak. Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? No! It’s not bloody ironic, actually. It’s just really bad luck that there’s ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife, Alanis. Sod’s Law! Unfortunately, Mrs. Morissette isn’t the only one who doesn’t understand irony. For some reason, people just seem to fling it around like it’s going out of fashion. Perhaps they feel safe in the knowledge that it’s highly likely their listeners don’t know what it means, eit...

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Rubbish TV adverts - don't they just make you want to SCREAM?

Rubbish TV adverts - don't they just make you want to SCREAM? Unless it’s the Guinness advert where the old guy surfs amongst the white horses, TV adverts are generally really bloody annoying. I realise why some adverts are annoying – because crap, repetitive jingles grab your attention – but there are some culprits that just go too far. But it’s not just irritating jingles that get my goat, it’s irritating scripts. In fact, irritating scripts are worse than any “Go Compaaaare!” or...

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Common spelling mistakes - are you guilty of these errors?

For reasons that escape me, there are some words that are constantly misspelt or misunderstood. They really do have a rough time of it. These common errors pop up everywhere. Scan your Facebook News Feed and you’ll find them dotted around like wordy chickenpox. And let me tell you, every time these little mistakes are made a pen explodes in someone’s handbag. It’s true. Shall we have a little rundown of the worst victims? Here goes… ‘Thank you’ Vs. ‘Thankyou’ Whenever someone sp...

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You soo should read this...

Sometimes ‘so’ just isn’t enough. I need more. More! Just as ‘to’ has its trusty companion ‘too’ to indicate excess, so ‘so’ should have its ‘soo’. And when would this wonderful three-letter word be used? ALL THE TIME, that’s when. Imagine this little scenario: an incomprehensibly fat cat breezes (or shuffles, as the case may be) into the room… “Jeeze! That cat’s way too fat!” Now, if you wanted to say it’s ‘so’ fat, it would look like this: “Jeeze! That ...

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What is a blog? (And why are they so important?)

Blogs are the 21st century’s soapbox, without the rotten tomatoes, boos and hisses. They’re a platform from which to flaunt your knowledge, opinions and expertise. And despite suggestions to the contrary, they get read. Blogs effectively started off as online diaries for individuals. But now they’re one of the most popular marketing tools for businesses, and are generally incorporated into a company’s website. Like this one, for example. Company blogs are great because they: Make you sou...

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What the?!

Here’s a question you probably don’t ask yourself often – what’s your favourite punctuation mark?  Funnily enough, it’s a question I often ponder over. That’s because I’m quite sad. But punctuation is the lifeblood of language, and has the very important job of packing our sentences with rhythm, meaning, and impact(!) The beloved semi-colon has been the object of my affection for a while now. How can you not adore a punctuation mark that has a punctuation mark in its name? It’s ...

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The Many Personalities of Fonts

The Many Personalities of Fonts Font is a funny thing. Ask anyone and they’ll have an opinion about it. Personally, some fonts make me feel slightly nauseous. Others make me want to stick Mozart on and light a pipe. Then there are those that make me feel like donning my biggest pair of sunglasses and heading for the nearest festival. Take, for example, Exotica. This ‘E’ alone conjures up images of cold cider in plastic pint glasses, music drifting from the main stage, the smell of a certai...

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